The ultimate sacrifice.

Baseball fans around the world I am giving my life for you. I need you to stay with me on this one. I have never been what you would call a lucky person. My team almost never wins. I had a friend many, many years ago who loved the movie “Pure Luck.” I know, no one likes that movie. Well I am very much like Martin Short's character in that movie. If I just turn the channel to a sports event, within the first ten seconds the team I want to win I can rest assured will lose. It all started with the Boston Red Sox in 1986. I was watching that series. Not only was I watching, I was pulling for the doomed Sox team. Billy, I want to apologize, it's not you it's me. Then came the Oakland A's in 88, also my fault. Then it was the Phoenix Suns in 93. Mesa High in 94, the New England Patriots in 2007 the Cardinals in 2008. The list goes on and on till last night. I should have known that it was not the fact that Roland struck out more times then he got to the plate, it was me. I should have known that they were not going to win. Little did the world know that they were doomed from the moment I wanted them to win. It was right then and there as I watched that cheating rich jerk A-Rod celebrating his first world championship, something had to be done. This is a drastic strategy. I will have to give my sports life for the benefit of the world. I will embrace the Yankees. Today I wore a Yankees cap to school and allowed myself to be called a Yankees fan. In three of my four classes I got called out as a Yankees fan. I played it up the best I could between the sobs. I have with this one simple act destroyed all the work that the evil empire has done to make them a winner. So it is with the last few words I accept your tanks world and will think of them often as I sit in my room filled with 27 world championship trophies. I will make sure they win no more. Next year when they do not make the playoffs and I have returned the world to its proper state I will have accomplished my job. From now on I am a Yankees fan. Fare thee well world.