The gallon of Milk.

I must confess the mishap that befell me last night. Let me set the scene. For the last few days I have been on deaths door. For that means I have had a cold. I do not handle being sick very well. For me and my kind it is called the "man flu". It can be fatal. Well last night at about ten o'clock I was wondering around the kitchen foraging for something to eat. I was at a loss because Lindsay was asleep with two of the children. I had been coughing or as Lindsay would call it hacking up a lung almost all night. I found out that she was awake with Ben. He did not want to go to sleep. Lindsay was now done with her husband and made me take six ounces of the most foul substance known to man. This is what they are giving to the terrorists in Abeu Grab. Its bad. But it is supposed to put you to sleep and stop your coughing. That is really what I was looking for. Fast forward two hours. It is now midnight and the Dodgers game is now over, they lost. Yeah. I am in the kitchen turning over the family night brownie pan with my knuckles looking for small crumbs. As I was licking the plate clean I had a flash of brilliance. MILK. I needed a big cold glass of milk and then I could got to bed. Now all I had to do was find the cups. Not that hard to do, however, I was high on cheap NyQuil. So of course I took the milk out, took the lid off and set the open milk on the top of the freezer. We have a fridge with the freezer on the bottom. It has a nice shelf to place milk on. That is what I did and was going to get the cup. Well there is a reason why we don't put milk on the shelf. Because the milk will fall off. That milk hit the ground so fast I could not catch it. Besides all that it went everywhere. It shot like thirty feet across the room on to the other wall. I could hear the milk rushing out and the air rushing in. My first thought was to leave it and then blame it on one of my kids. They are very young and I was pretty sure I could get Austin to help me blame it on Jillian, she is only two. My kids are always spilling crap like this. Alas my conscious got the better off me and ten minutes and a roll of paper towels later I was able to clean it up. I drank the milk and went to bed. It was here that I was rudely awakened by a very large spider crawling on my arm. It was huge about five inches long a very hairy. It freaked me out. I got up woke up Lindsay and told her to get out of the bed. To which I was told that the room was pitch black and could not see anything and that I was having my dream again. I do this about once a week. It used to freak her out now she just tells me to go back to bed. Cheap NyQuil must make the spider hairy.